“When yuh see yuh neighbour house on fire wet yours”. “Who have cocoa in the sun should look fuh de rain”. These are sayings that my mom would repeat if we as children would come home with a story about someone else. She was not one to encourage discussions (gossip) about other people, nor would she talk about others in the presence of her children.
Now as an adult I understand what she was saying. We all have our issues. If it’s not one thing, it’s the next. No life is perfect. Every person struggles with something. Every family wrangle with their own issues. Therefore, the more time we spend looking at or talking about other people’s business, is the less time we have resolving our own issues. If we spend our time looking at someone else’s pot, most likely our own pot will boil over or burn.
This year I celebrated my birthday, Christmas and the dawning of a new decade and new year in beautiful Anguilla. I did so with family and friends – and it felt good. It felt right. I remember washing dishes on the last day of 2019 thinking about the changes that had taken place in my heart and life over the last eighteen months. And how at that moment I was happy that I had taken the time away to make the necessary adjustments to get to the place where I was comfortable in my own skin.
It took time. It required me to mind my own business. It required me to do my own personal work which brings me to the title of this blog. I believe that this year God is calling us to ‘huddle’. Huddle is a term used in American football where the players all come off the field, form somewhat of a circle and literally put their heads together. They do that to
- Motivate one another
- Take a break from the game to recover
- Strategize for the next play
- Regroup personally and collectively
- Establish unity in purpose
I think that we can benefit much from this practice both personally and relationally. Too many persons are talking of ‘burn out’. Too many families are disintegrating because our focus is off. Instead of trying to impress our loved ones, we are ‘running down’ life to impress the public who really don’t care. Instead of ‘bringing the game home’, we take it to the streets. Instead of internalizing our efforts, we externalize, all the while investing our time and energies in things and people that do not add value to our lives.
I’ve come to realize that anything worth having is worth fighting for and at the end of the day the family we are a part of is not a mistake. Our family is all we have, and that same family is what agitates us to become who we need to be. Iron sharpens iron. The rocks closest to the surf are the smoothest because of the constant bashing of the waves on them and against each other. We collect them because they are beautiful, not realising what they went through to become as attractive as they are.
For this new year, why not take the time to determine what’s really important to you. Many of us don’t give our partners the credit for holding us down. We don’t realize that if they were not ‘having our backs’, making sacrifices and supporting us, we couldn’t do or be who we are in public. Why not give yourself and your relationships the necessary attention by calling for a ‘huddle’? Why not take the time to mind what is important to you, if in fact it is important to you?
In essence, call your players off the field and huddle for a bit. The outcome of the game depends on your commitment to coming up with winning plays. The success of the game depends on your desire to win. And may I suggest that a commitment to success would quite frankly and without apology sound something like this.
- Adults: Mind yourself. Mind your significant other if you have one. Mind your own marriage. Mind your own business. Mind your own purpose (reason for breathing) and most of all, mind your relationship with God.
- Youth and children: Mind yourself. Mind your parents or guardians – in most cases they want what’s best for you. Mind your education. Mind your talents and giftings. Mind your future. Most of all, mind your relationship with God.
In 2020, bring it home. A winner at home is a winner in the marketplace and you can take that to the bank.